your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
