Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Pants are for mortals
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
