i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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