Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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