Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Houston, we have a squirter
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
