i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
