Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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