I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
