im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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