Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
