i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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