Is it because I queefed?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am never drinking with the goths again.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize