I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
