Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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