i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
4 words: hood of his car
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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