Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
