Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
