Having a random hookup so left but love u
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
