PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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