every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
