Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
