My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
