ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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