If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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