It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize