I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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