She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
