i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
