I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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