it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
this will be a night to untag.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
