Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
