There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
