Non-Jews are for practice
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
