I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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