No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
