My Higher Power is John Stamos
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
