What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
