Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
