Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
