Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
