im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
