I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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