Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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