i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
