What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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