I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
