Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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