I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Randomize
