A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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