She is in my trunk
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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