You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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