I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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