I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So much rum. So many feels.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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