Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
