i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
