No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
please come you make the beer taste better
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
