i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
