Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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