i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
