Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
