Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
