I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
