butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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