whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
