dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize