my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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