Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
How does it feel to date your dad?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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