Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
