we have pet lesbian snakes
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
