He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
