Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
