Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
