sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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