let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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